edited version published in Korea.net: How Foreign Wives of Koreans Celebrate Lunar New Year
A few days from now, the whole country will be celebrating one of the biggest holidays here in Korea, the Lunar New Year. This year, it will be celebrated on January 25, 2020. The holidays will start this Friday until Monday. It will be a long weekend.
It will be fun, especially for children who are looking forward to receiving their Seollal gifts. Amidst all this fun, the women are busy preparing for the holidays. Days before, the women go to the market and buy all the necessary ingredients needed for their Seollal celebration. I see photos of my friends’ Seollal table and I can see how much effort have been lovingly put into those.
I had been curious for so long about how the foreign spouses of Koreans adjust to the way their Korean spouse’s family celebrate the holidays. I always hear how tiring it is for the myeonuris (daughters-in-law) because there’s so much cooking and washing of the dishes to do. So, I asked a few of my friends who are married to a Korean to see how tiring the holidays are for them.
When Abby Sung first arrived here in Korea, she was not familiar with how the Koreans celebrate. She had a lot of adjusting and learning to do and having stayed and celebrated Seollal for four years already, she had become accustomed to the tradition and the work that goes with it. Samantha Brown’s first Seollal with her husband’s family was warm and welcoming. She recalled, “When I met my Korean family, they gave me a warm welcome, and they let me enjoy the food they prepared and cooked, included me in fun games they played like card and board games. Even though the language is a barrier until now, they never made me feel left out. Every time I offer to help, they refuse.”
Razel Kim is celebrating her twentieth Seollal this year. Her husband is the first son in the family, but she doesn’t feel burdened with the celebration. The siblings of her husband and their families would gather in their house, but they also leave to visit the families of their husbands so by middle of the day, their house is quiet. There hadn’t been much to do for her since no other relatives come to visit them. Her mother-in-law has since left her hometown in Suncheon, so they are celebrating Seollal among their immediate family circle.
Marie Boes Shin and her husband celebrate the holidays in Daegu, where her husband’s grandfather lives. She doesn’t feel the burden of being a myeonuri, “My family is usually very chill and prepare all the food before everyone arrives. We all hep with the setting of the table and cleaning. But nobody is really working hard, not even the other women.”
For Hallie Bradley, the holiday is even a restful time for her family. She enjoys taking part in the family tradition, participating in the jesa and wearing her hanbok. She says, “My mother-in-law prepares all of the food and I help set the table with my father-in-law. Then we all eat together. After eating, my husband and I do the dishes and then everyone takes a nap.”
I’m glad to know it’s not as demanding and as exhausting as the stories I heard that some myeonuris even dread the coming of the holidays. If there is one thing Koreans and foreigners alike dread, it’s the traffic that goes with the celebration. Families gather in their hometowns, so all cars are leading out of Seoul. This is the case for Samie and her husband who go to the province of Gunsan where her mother-in-law traces her roots. Marie Boes Shin goes to Daegu but when her work as a ski instructor conflicts with the schedule, she isn’t required to go at all. Hallie’s family celebrates the holidays in Busan.
How do they typically spend the holidays? Samie sums it up, “All family members contribute to the expenses. We play games, sing Korean songs, give cash gifts to one another, the little children get to bow to their elders, and they are given cash gifts. To cap the Lunar new year, we dine in a restaurant all together as a family. We all go back to the family house to pack our bags and to take home loads of gifts, food and beautiful memories.”
All’s well for these myeonuris. They felt welcomed and have settled well. Contrary to what I expected because of the stories I heard before, their Seollal is one family tradition they enjoy and serves as an occasion to create memories together.
Good luck, good health, good cheer. Happy new Year!
새해 복 많이 받으세요.
Grabe para talaga ako nanunuod ng documentary ng about Korea pag nagbabasa ako ng blogs mo. So many to learn and thanks for sharing this cool and cute information!
thanks din, Adam:-)
What a nice post po for other women who might feel intimidated especially for first-timers. It’s so nice to read about foreign families and how they welcome new members of different nationalities. 🙂
I’m sure nakakaintimidate talaga dahil sa mga horror myeonuri duties na naririnig nila hahaha
Para din palang silang mga Pinoy ano? Nakaktuwa malaman yung mga bagay na di natin nakikita sa mga K-Drama, like this. sorry super tagalog hahah damang dama ko pagbabasa ko eh,
It’s refreshing to see that these foreign spouses are not really stressed during Seollal. I have a couple of Facebook friends who keeps on ranting about how they cook so many side dishes and wash the dishes without any help from their Korean spouses. LOL.
i know hahaha
Naaliw naman ako sa mga shared experiences in celebrating Seollal. Naalala ko lang dahil pala sa celebration na yan walang episode nun ng Crash Landing on You. Hehehe…
Wow! Ang saya naman ng celebrations nila. Didn’t know na ganito pala nila pinaghahandaan ang Lunar New Year. Parang mga napapanood ko lang sa K drama. Haha
– https://www.nicolesanmiguel.com (Lifestyle and Travel Blog)
Pwede ka na ate sa mga documentary film ek ek. Ang galing-galing mo mag-explain at magsulat. Belated happy Chinese new year! 😊
naku, salamat po:-)
Their spouses have really adjusted for their celebrations, but then it’s fun and part of their tradition. 🙂
Interesting perspective of how lunar new year is celebrated by Koreans with foreign spouses.
First time ko makareceived ng ng 새뱃돈 after 4 years hahaha
Hindi na din agnun kastressfull kasi kaya ko na magfry ng nakapikit 😀
Wala din masyado hugasin kasi wala na ding bisita.
congrats! magkano? hihihi
It must really be nice to get to know a new culture while still keeping to heart your own. I wonder what it’s like for children to grow up in a dual-cultured family, though I think these women have adjusted more into the Korean one.
i’m wondering about the children, too. maybe that’s a good topic for another post.
Wow, it seems like chinese new year is celebrated by families there in different ways. The important thing is the whole family is together. Wish i could join in and experience this korean culture myself some time. Haha
Good to know that the way they celebrate is different from the stories that we’ve heard.
I’ve read the article too of Abby Sung and good to read that your version shares that side na di naman lahat ng daughters- in- law ay stressed sa pag prepare dahil may katulong na sila. Buti nlng sa culture ng Pinoy lahat nagtutulungan. Hehe.
Belated Happy new year diyan sa inyo😃
Para din pala silang mga pinoy . Pero ung mga gingwa nila bihira natin makita sa mga kdrama . Nkakatuwa po ms.wendy kse npakagaling nyo po magexplain ng mga ganito 😍❤️
thanks!
Thanks for this Miss Wendy kasi kahit ako when I watched KDramas, I sometimes think of “parang ang hirap magkapamilya ng Korean because of their culture na the wife is parang very hands on sa family” and thinking those who married Korean must be difficult. But after reading this, it gave me a relief. Thank you Miss Wendy. 😘
depende din yata per family. meron iba hirap na hirap. meron naman na ok lang:-)
How do you greet a Korean Seollal? Happy New Year din? Hehehe nakakatuwa naman na nakakapag adjust sila. Hindi nman pala lahat e required talaga na mg asawa nila ng gagawa lahat ng gawaing bahay.
Koreans Greet this way: 새해 복 많이 받으세요 (Sehe bok mani badeuseyo)… that’s the happy lunar new year greeting meaning “Please receive lots of fortune that new year brings”
wow Seollal is indeed one family tradition to enjoy and to create memories together. i love that they play games, sing songs, and give gifts. this is a joyful way to celebrate. i am glad that even foreigner they are welcomed well by the family.
Wow ang ganda nmn ng family tradition sa korea . Prng dito din sa pilipinas kapag ngcecelebrate . My games gift .
Wow sana ma experience ko din yan Ms.Wendy ang Seollal mukhang enjoy din and ang cute talaga ng dress nila . Thank you for sharing what seollal is.
ang saya naman po ng ganitong selebrasyon sa korea, may katotohanan pla tlaga ung karamihan na napapanood q sa mga K-drama heheh para dn pla tlaga silang mga pinoy noh mahihilig sa selebrasyon, dami dn pa games at kung anu ano pa, lalo na ung foods nila, pa bonggahan dn po tlaga 🙂